Sunday, March 13, 2005

Asking For Too Much?

I am not sure if Malaysian women in particular are asking for too much nowadays of relationships and men (if they are heterosexual). But I do read and hear a lot of complaints about Malaysian men. And I have to admit I do get annoyed with this sort of perception.

Honestly, when I look around me, the men I know aren't all that bad. I know very good men, with strong sense of accountability, integrity, great sense of humour, respect people, humble, intelligent, and the list goes on. So why is it so hard for women to locate such men?

I think the question lies with women themselves. Looking at the wrong places perhaps. Looking at the wrong things. Not knowing how to bail out when things are showing signs of bad tidings. Meeting men they think they can change. Meeting wrong men. Not valuing themselves. I've seen seemingly strong intelligent women falling into this trap of thinking things will be fine, and that love must come with a dose of pain. Well, newsflash. It doesn't have to work that way.

It is values that matters. I'm not talking about loosening your standards. But a meaningful relationship cannot possibly be built on a list. It is something more intangible, trust. And respect. Acceptance. Love. Faith. And hell lot of hard work.

And the same goes for men out there.

By the way, watch Hitch for some cliched tips :P


At March 14, 2005 12:52 am, Blogger chasyss said...

Where can I find these good men then? :) May be looking in the wrong places too, or maybe some people just don't give other people enough of a chance to get to know them well enough to appreciate how good they are. Impatient. Or women thinking they're not good enough for the good men and go for someone they think they can cope with? mmmm.

At March 14, 2005 3:32 pm, Blogger Saffron said...

I see a lot of good girls around too, but my guy friends are always complaining about how girls are materialistic, whiny, needy, clingy etc. Works both ways, I guess.

Through my observations, I've noticed that the thing about finding the perfect partner is that people are invariably always too blind to see the one who's perfect for them.

There's a great quote about reforming men in LM Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables, but for the life of me I can't recall it right now.

How was Hitch?

At March 20, 2005 2:05 am, Anonymous angel said...

hi there...i read yr comment in mystiqangel's blog abt :) so i thought i read yours u seriously think women or men nowadays are asking for too much? times have changed compared to a decade ago...women are getting smarter and earning more $$ these, i'd guess that their expectation also will go in the same direction...but then again, i have always believed in destiny/fate or 'jodoh'...whatever expectation one person might have, ultimately, fate will determine whether u are meant to be together...or not...agree?

At March 21, 2005 12:42 pm, Blogger Resurrected said...

chayss : I can introduce my cousin to you. He is smart, articulate, humble, artistically inclined, has a high flying job….and he is an honest man! And very single! Want or not? Want or not?

(he is gonna kill me if he reads this :P)

hmm, i've seen what you mentioned happen, the part about settling for less. But sometimes what seems like settling for less could be more actually.

Saffron : Hitch is good entertainment, but not something to remember. As for the blindness part, sad isn’t it? ‘sigh’

Angel : no, I don’t think men and women are asking for too much. But I think men and women are looking at the wrong times very often. You find intelligent men and women wondering why they are trapped in bad relationships. Or relationships that are in a rut. There is a tendency to forget relationship is hardwork. Destiny only brings you so far, the rest is in our hands.


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