Thank you for saving me

I have never thanked You out loud in public. But Your hands truly protected me that winter. Today, I am reminded of the fragility of life. And am truly grateful for this chance to live to tell the tale after what happened that January. Thank You.

Choice

In the depth of the night, he wonders if there is actually someone like she.

For now she is forbidden.

And he stays as distant as possible, fighting the pull of a kindred spirit.

Till when?

Perhaps till he has no choice.

And the year closes pretty soon

It has been a while. Life's trajectory has taken off since August in a major lift-off, workwise. The search for fulfillment continues, outside of work. I am lucky, I settled pretty quickly into the new role and doing what I enjoy yet again. Next year promises to be a year of action and offensive play. This was an unplanned opportunity. Guess that's why they call it opportunity. I weighed my option between 2 (well staying was an option, but I killed it rather quickly. The response/counter offer is not worth the data it used on text) and decided to take the path of service, one last time perhaps.

The wanderlust reined in, for now, ever casting a shadow of flight to possibilities and adventure. But let's see what this unexpected turn of events take me.

I am truly blessed all round. And perhaps my spiritual side needs to be fed somehow amidst my logic, mind and confidence. Doing more good is another thing which needs to be upped substantially. For mind and heart to be at peace - instead of a collision of aims and dreams.

What's next? I have no idea. But for now I should figure out what kind of holiday I should have at year end!

On another note, why is it so hard to find connection in this small city?

Defying Gravity

It's funny how social networking sites show you how friends, past and present are living their lives. We lead such different lives now, friends from the past. Most are with a spouse and/or kids. Even those adamantly gallivanting singles eventually succumb. It's like it is no longer safe, it will get to you sooner or later. There are still those running around with or without a care. There still those partying like it was 10 years ago.

And everytime, without fail, no matter how alone I feel sometimes on this path, I would not trade this with theirs. My life is how I like it at the moment - the possibilities, the hopes, the fulfillment. To defy gravity.

I would not settle for anything less than a skip of my heart to decide.

666 Posts Later

It feels a bit weird not having to take that drive, to put on that mantle to the 21st floor anymore. But as cliched as it may be, it is not the prestige, influence or importance that I miss most. It is the people.

I miss my bright, witty, determined juniors - I miss sharing with them all I know and ought to know. It has been a joy seeing them grow, and discover their strengths, and whether this is for them.

I miss my teammates. The ups and downs we have been through. The honesty and candour. The friendship. And jumping monkeys. I miss my friends.

This ought to be exciting - new challenge, new place. But I am not stoked yet. It hasn't really quite hit home.

It is for the best I hope. In the mean time, 2 weeks of downtime to regroup.

What if?

What happens if you take out Gerrard from Liverpool?

What happens if you take out Messi from Barcelona?

What happens if you take out the player who has the most vision and awareness of the game from a team?

Speak?

If there are any words unspoken
More often then not
Caustic and harmful in many ways

But what if words unspoken
Are of affection and thoughts
Words that make light of days

What are reasons cited often?
Perhaps safety is sought
Keeping hurt and aches away

Ten Years On

This same Monday week, 10 years ago, I started my journey in the rodent race. I don't like that term. It is not a race, but rather, it is about sustaining yourself in the midst of craziness (and personal strife). It is about learning calmness and wisdom beyond your years, if you so wish to be at the forefront. It is about endurance, humility, perserverance and grace.

I am but at the beginning of this humbling, yet exhilarating journey. 10 years on, I still want to do much more, see much more, experience much more. To lead, to inspire, hopefully.

Being Out There

My heart is still restless. I miss being out there, seeing the world passing me by. New sounds, new sights, new smell and new tastes. Adventure. Experience. People.

Though as much as I yearn for adventure in the big wide somewhere, I long to for a place to rest my restless heart.

Such a contradiction.

"Let me take your hand in mine, and seek our adventure."

Being On Guard

I am suprised how guarded I can be even with someone I shouldn't be so with. I have no idea what I am holding back my words and actions for, because really, there is no reason or intent or plans of any kind. It all happened without a thought. I find it all amusing and my close friends find it really weird because to them, they only know the relaxed, no holds barred, dry witted man.

So seriously, next time, if ever, please let your guard down Mr Resurrected.

A Question

If this is a dance
And I don’t lead well
Do I get a second chance
To make you smile?

Execution

My execution abilities are questionable at the moment. Well, maybe less so the execution, but arriving at the end game proves to be an impossibility, lately. It's like I lost that mojo, that final touch. And perhaps the issue lies with the execution, where the tiles are not lined up for a domino effect to the goal. Perhaps the tiles are laid in too haphazard a manner. Perhaps the tiles are all great tiles but just not compatible in the scheme of things. No use for good tiles if you can't win.