He Says (1)

I woke up. The dream was vivid. I had held her hand. And we were walking. She was wearing the pink jacket that I made fun of. That's my heart wanting.

It wasn't a dream when it ended. It had been real. "You are hurting me" she said. Yes I know. But it's much better if I am hurting you now rather then when we are knee deep into a whirlwind. I didn't tell you all that. I didn't know how to. I can't stand to see you hurting.

I miss her. It mattered to me. She mattered to me. Which is why I had to end it. For there is no guarantee that I won't hurt her in the future. In fact, there is always that possibility. I just know it. I loved her. I still do.

An autumn colder than usual. Walk on, I say. You and I. Really. I fell. I had to run.