Saturday, October 13, 2007

Long Weekend

Sometimes my more superficial side can run rampant. An inherent weakness of mine, which needs to be managed, else I would buy everything I fancy.

The long weekend is passing quickly, halfway through. Barely slept but had fun. Been a while since I actually behaved like a kid. My serious, brooding nature need to be seriously minimized I think, for the sake of mental health, of mine and others. Apparently I am really driven, and it's in all aspects. But there have been times of doubt and lack of motivation too.

Am reconsidering the purchase of the bachelor pad. I might actually want to move in to one and live on my own, regardless of the economics. Or maybe I would rent out a room. But I don't really like that unless I know the person well enough.

I have to learn to accept the finality of it and move on, even if it was a really good thing and not something I thought would happen.

I may have found the answer I think, I think I have been dominant in all the past ones and really, I need equals. But the question of being equals is very subjective and a matter of perception.

Ah, perhaps my fairy-airy concepts too play a role.

Am in an ambiguous state and a little scary situation.

Perhaps things would be clearer with time.

I think I would not be applying for that visa. It may not really be the best thing to do. There is so much happening in this region and I think the action is really here in Asia Pacific.

I have too many projects and I need good help! Perhaps I have sugar-coated everything and deluded myself. Looking at the attrition rate and the problems people face, as they reveal it all, I think it calls for some serious re-thinking. I hope they take it seriously, revamping and managing it better. Especially when I am a free agent next summer. Which is really only 2 seasons from now.

Am switching off from work, since yesterday.


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