Someone Wrong Loving You Right
Hmm, it's a real cliche to say you love something or someone so much till it hurts. It hurts perhaps because of an unsuccessful venture or unrequited love.
What if someone wrong loves you right? Better than someone right, loving you wrongly?
Urgh. Life should be simpler.
Anyway, having been on both sides of the equation of the former, I can say there are different angles you can look at, questions to ask yourself.
If you are the wrong person loving someone the right way, ask yourself if it's going anywhere. If you think chances are you will be hurt, I won't say cut your losses. You can decide to hang on for a time period too and work at it. I've seen that work out in some instances. And when I say work at it, I don't mean stalk him/her :P. I mean try to get to know the person better. See if your instincts were right about the person. You could have been clouded by deep infatuation, or plain deadly lust :) Let him/her know you better too. Let him/her know you care and that you think this can work out. And when you decide to take such a course, don't expect anything. He/she owes you nothing.
If the wrong person is loving you the right way, ask yourself what is it that you can't accept. Is your judgement clouded by pre-conceived notions of that person? Could it be you are recoiling at the idea because you never expected it to turn out this way? Or do you have unrealistic and very fixed list of criteria? Get to know the person behind that intention. Perhaps there's a hidden gem. Of course, you owe him/her nothing. One should not feel guilty about it.
posted by Resurrected @ 21:51
6 comments
6 Comments:
If you could have only one, which one would you'd rather have?
What goes round, comes around. I was a victim of one :p ran away from a person, only to find that I fell for him after that... oh, the bitter taste of bile! of vengeance and heartache...
Zhi nan er tui, I guess. Erm, know when to waithdraw your troops and fight another day.
I don't think the right person can love you the wrong way, cos if the way was wrong then how could he/she have 'qualified' as the right person?
iblogme : am not sure. it's hard both ways.
career girl : hey good to see u again. vengeance? heh, i don't think it's worth it
Saffron : yes, but fight again when? same battlefield?
What I meant was he/she is everything you thought you wanted (qualities, criteria,etc) but you just don't feel right about it. Or if you were myopic and couldn't see the danger signs ie. abusive.
Whether or not you fight in the same battlefield, depends on whether the topography has changed, cos if it's the same battle then the end result's probably gonna be the same.
There must be a reason if she meets all your checkboxes and it still doesn't feel right. Maybe if you identify the reason why, thenmaybe 'right' won't feel so 'right' after all.
Abusive relationships aren't exactly defined as 'loving someone the right way', not even if that someone is a masochist. You're loving the wrong person (cos the right person would never abuse you) the wrong way (sticking with her even though it's abusive)
I am, of course, arguing technicalities. :)
Saffron :
Ah, but a blind marshall may think the terrain has changed. Or even if the terrain has changed, why bother? Questions, questions, questions.
Well, it's a big cliche to say love is blind, but there's a reason for this cliche to exist.
Oh the abusive part was referring to the right person loving you wrong :) You love him or her, and meet all the checkboxes thingy, yet you forget to include other things in the list. Or you are too oblivious to do so....the cheating, the abuse, the lack of respect.
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