Saturday, August 30, 2008

And It Is Midnight

A gathering of people from the past, it has been a while, this boisterous loud argumentative crowd. But how things have changed. Married with kids. Engaged. Et cetera. The timing of the dinner was an early one, and by a quarter past eight, it was time to leave. These are peers and juniors. It's a bit surreal to see them in their daddy roles. Someone made a remark that the table would have to be double the length 5 years from now....I wonder if that's gonna be true.

I rarely meet the married/engaged/madly deeply in love ones (and that's most of them) nowadays. Of course I get admonished for being so-in-love with what I do. And a colleague wishes that I get over the work is more important than the girl phase. But as time goes by, it gets harder to reconnect with friends as everyone move into their respective micro-lives which require a lot more attention, time and commitment. And the thing is, everyone seems so contented, so sure that this is the right and best thing to do. To move from just mere love into a life-long dedication. Yes, I believe in taking my vows seriously and which is why I am ever-cautious because I would like to make it happen and work for a long time, a life-long love of my life. Idealistic, still.

I wonder if I have what it takes to play daddy. Does it not scare you, to have a life (or lives) in your hand for which you have sole (joint) responsibility for? And that every word, every move would impact the mind/heart of the child.

Ah National Day...I hear it on the TV. This year is low-key. Deep-down, I wish we can be better, I wish we can move on and I wish I can have a better place to build a family right here at home.


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