Lunchbreak

I'm suprisingly alert and awake although I slept late. Work has been hectic. Well, not entirely hectic. Just stressful at times. In fact, my blood pressure must have been soaring dealing with some naggy broad from outside that doesn't seem to know how to shut-up and ask the same question again and again. And certain parts of the past is haunting me at work again today. Hate that feeling. Hate that 'I am not at my best' feeling, and that 'I get no direction' dilemma and 'I'm in deep shit' thought.

Well, the external auditors are here. That should keep me on my toes the next week or so. Not that I deal directly with them. I miss my old job. I had a lot of autonomy, yet I had clear directions. And I was well, appreciated. Wasn't just another slave to work for the boss, but an active contributor and participant in developmental work. Now I feel like a frisbee.

Times like this makes me want to run away. What's the point if I'm not given space to grow. They forget that when I grow, they reap the benefits too. I think I'll have a chat with the person that made this transfer. He thought it would make me happier. Apparently not, 6 months time is up and I have an open ticket to sit down with him and discuss my position. If only I can find ther right time and the right words.