Rut

It takes a big boy to admit this: I am in a rut. I am having a headache right now and all I can think of is what a rut I am in. Good, admitting it is the first step. I love self-awareness. Sometimes ignorance can be bliss though.

Back to the drawing board. Will bounce back in a short short while :D

Glaringly

Unimpressive. That’s the consensus. Utter waste of time and a show of strength that went way wrong. Insensitivity was shown out and out, laying out the weakness which have long been noticed by certain keen eyes. Inability to reach out. Inability to articulate and adjust accordingly. Inability to win hearts. Wonder how they felt, must be laughing inside or just not know what is happening.

Deal Breakers 1

So, 2 conditions:
1. How they manage the change in power structure: I expect nothing less than absolute professionalism and absolutely no insane paranoia and lack of focus.
2. How they manage the change this coming January/February: I expect progression and affirmation of the fast-track, in action, not in words.

These 2 are deal-breakers. Yes, call it what you want, ego or whatever. I would have waited patiently in the wings, learning and supporting someone but that someone important is leaving, leaving a void which I doubt anyone can fill. So I refuse to work with anyone I see as a lesser mortal. Oh you know who they are. So don't piss me off.

More Disjoint

Brand names can carry one only so far. But sometimes it's just way too painful to prove a point. Sometimes the road less travelled ain't that cosy. When you look at the road ahead, it is so daunting.

Different stages in life are very difficult to reconcile.

Am feeling the strain. Can barely concentrate on anything. Taking the day off tomorrow. Hope to catch up. I am gonna have to talk to the new reporting line, that I need time off end of the year, else they may see

The chip on the shoulder is still there. It takes time. But the confidence level is high, even with the insecurities.

Unconnected Dots

Screwed up. Need a getaway car. Short day. Too much to do, too little time. Be nice. All evening. I think I am evil. I like the song Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough. Makes me sleepy. Am just not ready. Taking the leap is difficult when in comfort zone. Mom was right on that count. Falling short. Yes, you are right. It's the same for me. Many things can and will happen in the near future. Be practical. But don't stop dreaming. Am craving for wantan noodles. Today and tomorrow would be days of gluttony. Small talk, whole day. Strange situation. Exit strategy rendered obsolete. Bad moon rising.