Saturday, October 30, 2004

Of Escalators

Why can't they learn to read simple signages that says, stick to the left to let people pass at the escalators? This is specifically at the Masjid Jamek Putra LRT station. It is very annoying to have people blocking the way when they are already told not to. Bodoh.

Friday, October 29, 2004

Herbal Radio Ad

After reading Maverix's post on TV ads, I must blog about this radio ad that has been bugging me almost every morning for a while.

There is this radio ad in the morning about ginkgo biloba i think that screamed "cuckdold husband". Hmm, let me get the script the next time I hear it, I'm usually tuned in to Light & Easy when I drive to work.

Anyway it goes something like this (probably inaccurate but captures the essence of it. say, is it ginseng or gingkgo biloba? ah well what the heck :P) :

Husband : I'm feeling tired/lethargic all the time. I must be getting old.

Wife : But you are only 45! Mr Lim is 70 and he is still so energetic. He takes Brand X Ginkgo Biloba and it improves blood circulation. Good blood circulation is the foundation of good health

Now, pray tell, how does Wife know he is energetic and has better blood circulation? :P And ahem, better blood circulation for better firmer longer lasting erection? Added to the fact Mr Lim is already 70 which means longer time to orgasm. Doesn't it imply the Husband has not been performing energetically and has a blood circulation problem which may or may not lead to a certain degree of impotence? Has Wife been seeking out satisfaction with Mr Lim? And now Wife thinks she can get both ends of the stick (pardon the unintended pun) by getting Husband on this miracle herb so that she gets even more satisfaction. Plus Mr Lim is already 70, and all this activities may bring other problems such as a heart attack, and she could be left high and dry (urgh, another one sounding like a pun)?

Ok ok, I think too much. And I have a very perverted mind :P

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Violence Is A Vicious Cycle

Even with Thaksin's apology, I doubt there will be a fast solution to the crisis in Southern Thailand. What's disturbing is why did the armed forces pile humans who are alive but maybe injured into trucks over each other. Did they think it was a circus for acrobatic acts? Did they check if they had injuries or were on substances? Couldn't they have treated the detainees with simple respect as human beings? Couldn't they have made return trips with the trucks while the troops stand guard with the remaining detainees? It is understandable if they died of gunshots, because the soldiers did fire. But death in custody is very, very questionable. I'm not pointing fingers, but at first glance I think the Thai government has mishandled this issue and has created a PR disaster for themselves.

More importantly, they have created more antagonism in that already disenchanted region.

And now one of the separatist groups is threatening to bring the fight to Bangkok.

Enough is enough. But if they do strike in Bangkok, it would be striking to close to home (those who know me real well would know why :P). I pray that it won't happen. And I pray that there will be no more loss of lives. 'sigh' The idealist in me needs to be suppressed.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Unnatural For Me

The Gang of Four meet-up was as usual, full of jibes, sarcasm and friendliness :P It was nice to meet up after many years of not having the complete quartet. I think the last complete quartet meet-up must have been while I was still an undergrad, which is eons ago. Most of the time meet-ups in the recent past consist of 2-3 of us only. Subtle changes abound in the group. One is about to get married 'shudders'. The other is well, seemingly devoted to his after half. And another is working hard as ever, hunting but not scoring. While yours truly here can't really be bothered about anything at the moment as his life seems to be loads of uncertainty. The comment yesterday was I seem to be distracted and not as talkative as usual, no sharp retorts, no interesting out of this world analysis of situations or suggestions. Maybe it is true, I have many things on my mind, all waving, seeking my attention to be resolved.

I haven't, on my on volition, allow uncertainty in the past. If there was any uncertainty in my life it wasn't by choice. Yet, for the first time I'm letting an injection of uncertainty into my sphere. I'm allowing something to hang in the balance, with no end in sight, well, up to the middle of next year, the latest. And it is very unnatural because it is something I can eliminate. I'm taking a risk, and a risk that according to a friend taken without much calculation Resurrected style. I dislike uncertainty, I like a firm yes or no. But in this case, I'm letting it be "maybe no maybe yes, I'll find out much later but I have to keep working at it." Stressful. But I'm a willing party this time.

Monday, October 18, 2004


I laughed when I read this



Running Away

I need help. :P My heart beats faster when I hear her voice and when I see her. Lust, it is pure lust. But it can't be. Because I know her so well and I appreciate her as a friend. And to be honest, she's no supermodel :P, so it is not lust?

But still my heart skips a beat.

Run, Resurrected. Run away.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

While Waiting To Buy Tickets

if your breath stinks,pls dont stand too close to me like the guy behind me!

Update : I was in the line at TGV KLCC when I sent this post. And he knocked into me after that. I hate it when people stand so bloody close. Shoo! Stay away from me.

Friday, October 15, 2004

Attack What?

"He is planning to 'attack' soon."

Attack? She isn't some commodity you can claim, own or trade, or whatever. Whatever happened getting to know the person first instead of deciding to be interested even before knowing the person well.

Whatever happened to love. Granted you can't live on love and fresh air alone. But I'm an idealist (sometimes, before you start thinking I've gone mad, I know I am practical most of the time).

And the idealist in me dictates that you must know the person before moving headlong into any romantic situation (entanglement?). Well, you don't have to know everything about her. Just important stuff like values and general temperament for example. And also that X-factor. Yeah yeah I'm a sucker for superficial, unsubtstantiated feelings :P I conveniently label as the X-factor.

My opinion is, a plan of attack makes her sound like a prey, that she is a trophy to be owned. And I cannot accept that. A woman must berespected for who she is, she must have free will and must be treated right. And you must get to know her without hidden agendas. Then you can decide if you are in love, if there is such a thing(there is! there is such a thing called love dear boy!)

Yes, I may have been set off because I adore her. But this is very much in line with my opinions on such matters.

Decisions To Be Made Soon

I have 2 things that's happening to me that will probably alter the course I'm on a bit (or maybe a lot more).

I have a job interview in the corporate finance field next Wednesday morning. Well, it is something I wanted a couple of months ago. So now I'm getting a shot at it. There's no guarantee of course that this will end on a fruitful note, but it is an opportunity nevertheless.

I am on the Fulbright 2nd alternate list. Meaning, I didn't get the
scholarship but if someone pulls out, I'll be in (who on earth will decline it after trying so hard to apply for it?). However, the Malaysian office is going to appeal on my behalf for me to be bumped up to the main list of recipients. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Pray for me yeah?

It is happening. Things are happening that's setting the course away from my current sphere of existence. I'm a bit apprehensive. But excited nevertheless.

By the way, I got my GMAT score. It is not too bad. It shows I can reason well but can't count for nuts, the result I mean. Which is very misleading because my strength actually lies in the quantitative section. It was just because I screwed up my time management. I'm happy with my Analytical Writing score of 5.5, years of arguing (constructively most of the time :P) certainly helped in taking a stand in one essay and analysing an argument for weaknesses/merits in another essay. To readers who are/were
debaters or who are very analytical, this part of GMAT is made for you :P. Anyway, the Fulbright people say the score is good and I have pretty ok chances of being accepted into a good graduate school. And no, I don't want to go to Arizona on a partial scholarship even if you think I'm a fool.

So there, I'm hoping for the best. And I'm hoping my mind will be clear when the time comes to make hard decisive choices. And I'm hoping this particular person will come around and see things the way I see it, before it is too late.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Voices in The Head

I have no idea how long I can hang on. It hurts. Badly. I say I have no expectations, yet deep down I still hope. Yes, silly me. Walk away boy. Just walk away. Cut your losses. I can't. I still want. You must stop hoping. Move on already. But it is not over yet. I want to carry on. How can you sustain such foolishness? I'm never one that walks away from a war when it matters. I may have lost 2 major battles but I'm gaining ground on other fronts. You are delusional. Get a grip. Those 2 major battles, could have killed you off. Don't you remember the wounds? I remember. And the deep wounds shows it is a war worth fighting. Oh grow up! Stop being a martyr. You aren't cut out for it. I want to fight. I want to win. If I lose (which I won't), at least I tried. Try, try, try. That's all you do. You have never given your best. You know it too damn well. Well, then it is about time I face my fears. It is about time I give my best. It is about time I stop drawing up boundaries that keep me safe and sound. Why exactly do you think it is worth your fight? Because it is for a pure and sincere cause. You know that means very little nowadays. Very little indeed but very little is still something, and they will see it. It is for other people again? No, it is for myself too. It is for us. But you are setting us up for another fall. Don't worry, if we fall, we'll get back right up, and fight again. You are crazy. I love you. I love you too.


what's not mine won't be mine I only know too well with time being a healer all will be fine

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Too Much Information

I'm cringing as I type this entry, colleagues (married ones) are talking about when they first consumated their marriage. One said hers was a month after her wedding, due to her menses and timing of their honeymoon. Urrgh, too much information. I'm just keeping quiet.

Disenchanted Workforce

"I just do what the bosses tell me to do. I don't care and I don't want to think."

This is the outburst I got from a colleague of mine when asked about something she is doing. I wanted to know because I'm supplying her some of the information and wanted to make sure I'm delivering the right stuff. It's quite sad really, because she's held in high regard by her superiors. How did the management alienate her then?

The sad truth is, when you are a reliable workhorse (that's what I label her as), you tend to get a lot of unwarranted work dropped on you. I think that's why her superiors love her so much. She just works and works without complaints. She's hardworking and steadfast, that's something I admire. But everyone has their limit I guess. Her work has become mundane and tedious.

She still works hard, but the spirit is just not there anymore. I always think that we must take our own initiative to learn even from the most mundane stuff we do. But it's a lot easier said than done. I can empathise.

The traditional perception of working for money may not hold anymore (hmm, I need not have said that, that's already like gospel truth nowadays :P). More and more people are seeking careers that is not only rewarding financially, but rewarding in terms of satisfaction, learning/knowledge obtained, mental stimulation, et cetera.

What do you look for in a job?

"I want adventure in the big wide somewhere" Belle, Beauty & the Beast.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Self Defence

Have you ever been in a situation when you feel you have been wronged, and the accounts of certain situations by someone else seems delusional at best, and there are misconceptions and semi-truths that need to be cleared, and yet, you can't say anything about it?

Now, the only reason why I can't respond is because I know my response will be hurtful and will open a can of premium worms. I'm too lazy to be confrontational and too lazy to defend myself although I do have a draft response. Thank goodness it is only on MS Word and not in my email drafts, else I might have clicked Send.

It seems like someone close to me is out to shoot me down or just plain misrepresent me. It is quite amazing someone that's supposedly close to me can show such inaccurate knowledge of me. I can't imagine how a friend can be so self-conceited. Added to the fact that this friend seems to have a major case of selective amnesia. No, I don't keep scores, but sometimes it is too damn obvious when things are being overlooked.

I'm not angry about it at all. Just disappointed. And amused. Yup, it kept me amused for one weekend, reading it and composing a response that I would never send. Was shaking my head, smiling and chuckling. The contents were quite weird, and the logical flow a bit skewed, and littered with contradictions. I'm still amused. I know it sounds mean, but really, I'm amused. I think the person was expecting some form of outburst. Hmm, come to think of it, I'm not sure what the person was out to achieve? I mean, a nice response with equally deluded apologies from me (I can pretend to be a mental patient)? No response from me? A tongue lashing from me? A sarcastic note from me? A call to have coffee with me? Pretend everything is hunky dory?

I'll just do what I normally do, which is not to respond when provoked. Yes, because if I respond, someone's gonna get hurt, badly. No point making the situation worse. It takes a lot to hold my tongue, but I believe in the faith I have in my friends. It is probably a temporary oversight done on an unstable emotional state. So there, my arms of friendship is still open, as always. Through thick and thin, that's my little friendship policy. :)

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Presidents and Iran

Hmm, the US Presidential debate seemed like an outright win for Senator John Kerry. It was on foreign policy and homeland security. George W.Bush was cornered many times and was repeating the same statements over and over again. He tried to look smart by cracking jokes and making remarks as Kerry spoke. But what's disappointing is how there wasn't any killer blows by either side in the debate. It however made Kerry's stand clearer on certain issues like Iraq, nuclear proliferation, North Korea and homeland security.

What is certain though, is I really worry for Iran. Regardless of who becomes President of the USA, it seems obvious that Iran is bogeyman to the US. I hope nothing happens to Iran. The last thing we need is an outright war between the Shiites regime in Iran and the US. And the last thing we need is to give credence to the hardliners in Iran on how the world is turning against them. We need to safeguard the progress of the moderates and engage Iran on a constructive basis. And added to this is my personal reason of having 2 friends in Iran, and I really don't want war to befall them. Added to the fact that Persia is a wonderful place of ancient human civilizations. I wanna visit and photograph the places there, see for myself the culture and people. So, hands off please warmongers!

Anyway, countries that I wanna visit (in the next 10 years perhaps?):
1. Thailand, just to visit someone ;). Will probably happen in June 2005 or December 2005. Anyone wants to come along?

2. Spain
3. Iran
4. Italy
5. Japan
6. Shanghai & Beijing only
7. Cambodia
8. Vietnam
9. France
10. Ireland

I Am Back

I can't stand being treated with such disrespect, especially by someone that's so close to me. One would think that friendship and respect is reciprocal. I guess I'm quite alone on this matter when it comes to this particular friend of mine. There's a such a thing called open communication channel with me, which this friend is fully aware of. She is also fully aware that I'm a stickler for open forum, no matter how difficult the issues may be. So it is very disappointing that common courtesy is no longer applicable here. And it's disturbing that she can't seem to tell me what's bugging her. I know she has no obligation to tell me. But obviously it has something to do with me, and I want to know. Instead, she avoids me. Nope, not the outright avoidance kind of actions. But subtle yet very obvious to a person that's quite observant of human behaviour. It is sad how a great friendship can turn this way.

Ah well. Let it be. I've got better things to do than mend things that seems to matter to one side of the partnership. Too bad for her.

Anyway, my GMAT score was well, above average. But I'm not satisfied with it. I know I can do a whole lot better. It is obvious to me I screwed up the quantitative part, as I didn't finish it. It's very suprising as I usually finish way ahead of time. I made some miscalculations in time management. I think I may have to resit. I did ok for the verbal section and I think my analytical writing part pose no worries. So it depends on what the colleges say about my scores, I gotta get some counselling on my chances before I decide on a re-sit. TOEFL was no biggie, no worries about it at all.