Monday, August 30, 2004

Got This Via Email Ages Ago

"What do I know about sex? I'm a married man. " Tom Clancy

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. " Steve Martin

"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither. " Drew Carey

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it''s pretty damned good. " Woody Allen

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. " Unknown

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." Woody Allen

"Homosexuality is God's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children. " Sam Austin

"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. " George Burns

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." Matt Barry

"Life is a sexually transmitted disease. " Unknown

"My kid had sex with your honour student. " Bumper Sticker

"Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. " Michael Sinz

"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. " Woody Allen

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. " George Burns

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant. " Henry Miller

"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn''t love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision. " Lynn Lavner

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. " P. J. ORourke

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Help Needed

I need to get in touch with people that have experience with the Fulbright selection process. So if you have gone through the process or know of someone that's willing to share that experience, I would be delighted to hear from you. Thanks a million! :)

Friday, August 27, 2004

At Random

Sometimes you think you know someone. Then the person proves you wrong. It is frightening.

Faith is a funny thing. It comes into play when you least expect it to.

People change.

Never put too many eggs into a basket. You'll pay the price.

There are friends you think you can count on, but they disappear when times get rough for you. These are good times friends.

Mid Autummn festival is on the 28th September 2004.

I need a hug.

Friendship is something I treasure and I feel anguish everytime a
friendship turns rotten.

I feel blessed even when faced with adversity.


You can get Hillary Clinton's memoirs (paperback version) for RM 22.80 at
Popular Bookstore, Ikano Power Centre.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Blurry Lines

An inch forward
Two inches backward
Draw the lines
Rub the lines
Draw again

Maybe there should be no line
Or the line should be painted
Not with chalk

Hands over the line
Meets a deadly knock
Pain of not crossing
Is just as deep

Two inches forward
How long will this line last?

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

More nonsense

Feel yet cannot touch
See yet cannot reach
Close yet so far

I want yet I can't
I feel yet I musn't

Tuesday, August 24, 2004


There is a strange comfort I feel every time a Chinese song is aired on the radio when I drive. People find it weird that I sometimes tune into Chinese radio stations when I can't understand most of the songs they play. Siew Kuan thinks I tune into Chinese stations just to please her ears. She is wrong (partly) in that assumption. I used to do it just to irritate Oy Lin back in our uni days. She couldn't understand a word, and I could understand some. I fooled a whole bunch of people into thinking I know not a word in Chinese in my first year at uni. And no, listening to Chinese stations has nothing to do with me wanting to hit on Chinese speaking girls (but ability to flirt in Mandarin was helpful) :P

But as time went by, it became more and more natural. Maybe it has something to do with the deluge of Chinese language entertainment I got from Singaporean TV throughout my 4 years in JB. Maybe it was due to staying with a bunch of Chinese speaking housemates for 3 years. Maybe it was the whole JB environment where Mandarin was spoken a lot.

Actually, I may not know each and all of the words, but I can pretty much catch the essence of it. And I do speak the language, just not very fluently and I don't know a lot of words. But the language can strangely flow off my tongue as if it is my first language, when required.

It was my first language for many years. It was the first language I learnt as a toddler. It is still the main language I use to communicate with my parents and our extended family. There are things that can only be expressed best in Mandarin. But it is just not the language my mind is tuned in. Strange. I can't remember when the transition took place.

Perhaps my comfort stems from familiarity. Sort of going back to the roots. And everytime I feel a bit down, I know there is a possible remedy to smoothen the jagged edges of my emotions.


I want to reach out, but I can't. I want to see you, day and night but I can't because we aren't supposed to want. I want to pick up the phone and dial and hear your voice caressing my ears and mind. But I won't. I want to hold you close and tell you all's fine, but the truth is, it isn't all fine. It tortures me but I know its best we are apart now. And to seek ourselves on our journey separately. Will our path cross again? I don't know.

Monday, August 23, 2004

Know Your Rights Workshop

Dear Friends,


We are pleased to announce that SUARAM will be conducting a Know Your Rights Workshop and we call upon those interested to notify us as soon as possible.

The details of the workshop as below :
Date : 5th September 2004(Sunday)
Time : 9 am till 5 pm
Venue : Selangor Chinese Assembly Hall
1 Jalan Maharajalela, KL

(Two[2] tea breaks and Lunch will be provided)

Topics Covered :
Human Rights Principles and Concepts
Human Rights & Gender
HR Human Rights & Law
The International Bill & UN machinism
How and where to make human rights complains
Who should be encouraged to attend :
General public who wants to have a basic understanding on human
Fresh/new NGO activist and staff who want a general basic
overview on Human rights
Students or any other group of people curious about Human Rights
Is there a fee and how do you register ? :
Yes, a nominal sum of RM 20.00 per participant. (RM10 for early
birds, before 15th August 2004 and students)

Please book your place early as places are limited to only the first 50 participants.

Please fill up the registration form and send it through post/e-mail or fax to SUARAM's office before 28th August 2004.

Language : simple, easy to understand and informal English / Malay

For further Inquiries :
Contact Mary Agnes or Arul at 603-77843525, 77820357 or Fax: 603 77843526
383, 1st Floor, Jalan 5/59, Petaling Gardens, 46000 Petaling Jaya,
Selangor, Malaysia

Wednesday, August 18, 2004


I wonder why I'm still at it. I should just drop it.

And everytime I let it cut me, I ask myself why. And every cut takes time
to heal.

Why the hell do I pour my resources into this when there is no light at
the end of the tunnel? Am I such a sucker for pain.

Don't hurt me, please.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

How comforting

Doc : Its only a slight infection
Me : That's good
Doc : Not really, its going to get worse. Do you have blocked nose?
Me : Yes
Doc : And with your fever, you'll feel worse in the next few days

Saturday, August 14, 2004


Went to a place that brought back plenty of memories. Went there twice before this. Today I was doing exactly the same thing (almost) as the 2nd trip before this. This time, I didn't wait as I did before. I left, I walked away. And it felt strange.

I profess I don't really know what happiness is. But I think there was a time I was close to happiness. The time has passed though. And somehow, I miss it.

As I drive home along that long route, I recollected what it was like. I think I'm such a sentimental fool. Many other thoughts passed through as well....toll booth collectors, bad roads, the future, some fears, desires.

I finished a book too. Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho. I haven't finished a book proper in years. I have a bad habit of reading things halfway. I'm happy about putting an end to that streak. Better days ahead? I don't know.

"Considering the way the world is, one happy day is almost a miracle" Maria, protagonist in Eleven Minutes.

Friday, August 13, 2004

Resurrected's Search

Application to Date Resurrected


Age : 21-35
Height : 1.45-1.85 m
Gender : Female
Status : Single/Divorcee/Widow
Married women and those in relationship need not apply
Breast Size : Resurrected would be glad if she has breasts,
regardless of size
Education : At least Bachelors Degree
Notes : 1. No children
2. Low maintenance : emotionally & financially
3. Reads the newspaper daily, at least (comic section/TV
guide does not count)
4. Not a Manchester United supporter
5. Understands football
6. Speaks English
7. Speaks (no, fair opportunity rule does not apply here)
8. Pays her share of expenses
9. Drivers of BMW will have a better chance
10. Can be contacted all day and night, if needed
11. Can cook and can teach Resurrected how to cook
12. Excellent at acts leading to copulation and
copulation itself
13. Will dump Resurrected in 3 months, after having lots
of fun

Please leave your contact details on the Tag Board or Comments if interested.

Thank you.


It's Friday :)! God, I made it. Just another 9 hours to go, and I'll be home free. Probably try to watch I,Robot or do some shopping in
bookstores. There's this second hand bookstore near here which I go to every fortnight or so. It's not big, but I did find some gems. That reminds me, I need cash, gotta run to the ATM after work :P

A friend said there is something wrong with me because I don't really like babies. Well, I can't stand the idea of me holding something so fragile. And I certainly can't stand the crying, drooling and uncontrolled bowel movement. Yeah, yeah, you are gonna say I was like that too. But that's besides the point. My parents (and many other parents) chose to live with it, they know full well what they were getting into. I for now, choose not consider it.

There's of more to this. I find this world and age we live in absolutely depressing. High crime rates, poverty, pollution, war, shrub-like politicians, racism, et cetera. I do not want to bring to this world a precious life that will have to face all that in his/her life. I do not want to have to worry and be stressed out about him/her, when I can barely find direction of my own. I feel it would be unfair to him/her to bring him/her into this God-forsaken world (I think this sentence will create uneasiness. I mean no malice to any religion).

Older and wiser people tell me that I would be lonely without children and a marriage may grow stale without children to provide synergy. Well, I'm quite sure my future partner and I would have to discuss this at length. But heh, that's a long, long way from now. So no need to worry about it, yet. :P I'm also cynical about marriage, but I shall leave that to another day.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Tell Me Your Story

I still hear no news. Yeah, yeah, I know I'm being impatient, as the ball started to roll only last Friday. I can't expect them to offer me what I want within one week can I? :)

Here's a story for you to continue :

The raindrops can be heard loud and clear, from the zinc roof. It is raining today and it is another day of losses for Chans, as the latex from their small plot of land nearby flows onto the ground with the raindrops. The wooden home they live in damp, and cold. Old Chan is occupied with wood chopping while his wife fixes the hems of their youngest daughter's 3 year old pinafore.

Yin Yee is busy reading the pieces of newspaper with the kerosene lamp by her side, voraciously looking for worthy things to read. Pieces of newspaper her mother brought home, wrapping slabs of pork and other sundry items such as onions, ginger and spices from the sundry shop.

The papers may be old, and only in bits and pieces. But to Yin Yee, it is still a window to the world, no matter how small it may be. Newspaper is too pricey, at MYR 1.40 each day. It is a luxury she has to do without. No one reads at home except for her anyway. Her parents didn't attend school and her 3 siblings all eking a living in the big city.

She didn't go to school today. The dirt road leading out of her village would be too muddy to trudge on today. And she wouldn't want to ruin one of her two pinafores, which she intends to use for another 2 years.

She can't go to the school library today and dive into the bookshelves as she does everyday after school. She would read the newspapers first before looking for a book she fancies. The reading materials are all in languages that are new to her, having come from a primary school that taught in her mother tongue. She struggles to understand the many idiosyncracies in the languages, but she knows she must master it. She wonders why there are no newspaper in her mother tongue in the library although one can easily purchase it from a shop.

With a book or magazine in hand, she would rush home to help her parents with the manual work of processing latex over fire stoke by wood to sheets of raw rubber.

She is not doing that today. When will the rain stop?

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Thoughts on Poverty

La di la di dum dum. Dum dum.

I'm at work, as usual. Now actively seeking ways to change this situation. :) Plan is in motion, hope it works out well and for the better.

I can't fathom though why it is so difficult to raise even half of the requirements for food and medicine for the Sudanese fleeing the violence in Dafur, a country now torn apart by strife. What's with the world today? Oil prices are at US$45 per barrel, I'm sure there are many oil rich countries that can help. I'm sure most countries consume too much as well. Simplistic point of view : Why can't they channel some to those in need? Does that make me a leftist? I think that makes me human.

We have limited resources, there's only so much we can use. If we use more, someone else will be deprived. Simple math.

And we should really worry about the growing gap between the rich and the poor in our own backyard. What we have is a lack of concerted effort and political determination/will to actively pursue poverty eradication. There is also the heavy bureaucratic machinery. For example, a person below 30 even if he has a family cannot be considered for the housing programme (low cost wooden houses for rural areas), regardless of his/her income level and number of dependents. It has been pointed numerous times as well, that the ceiling of RM 500 as the poverty line is idiculously low. I have always been amazed at how any family can live with RM 1500 and below ( RM 2000 imho if urban). They must do it with much deprivation. Which is wrong, wrong, wrong.

What can we do? Lets discuss that some other time.

I need to get out of the slave house now :P

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Blunt Daggers

It was such a disappointment, that latest Zhang Yimou's movie. Yes, it was all nice and pretty, nice colours, nice scenery, good action. But the story just fell apart halfway through the movie. Was it a love story? If it was, it was quite a sickening one. Was it a martial art showcase? If it was, it was very disatisfying. Was it a movie with some statement, political or otherwise? I failed to see any concrete exploration of any theme. Not a thing on the Tang Dynasty's downfall even though the movie was set close to its end.

So what's left? Well, you get to see Zhang Zi Yi's bare shoulders and the upper half of her chest at least 3 times. I think it was 4 times. One attempted rape by that Takeshi Kaneshiro character (she danced too, and boy she is flexible :P), one unfinished love scene with him again, another attempted rape by Andy Lau's character and a not so satisfying love scene with Takeshi (thanks to the censors :P). As you can see, there seems to be a strange focus on screwing Zhang Zi Yi. Was it Zhang Yimou's ultimate fantasy potrayed on screen for us to see? Well, he did 'discover' Zhang Zi Yi.

Seriously, I was disappointed.

Friday, August 06, 2004

Lilies of the Field

I shall leave you with this for the weekend :)

Commencement speech made by Pulitzer Prize-winning author
Anna Quindlen at Villanova University.

I'm a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work.

You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree; there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life.

Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on a bus, or in a car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank account but your soul.

People don't talk about the soul very much anymore. It's so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is a cold comfort on a winter night, or when you're sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you've gotten back the test results and they're not so good.

Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my profession stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the center of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they say.

I am a good friend to my friends, and they to me. Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cutout. But I call them on the phone, and I meet them for lunch. I would be rotten, or at best mediocre at my job, if those other things were not true. You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are.

So here's what I wanted to tell you today: Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger paycheck, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast? Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze over Seaside Heights, a life in which you stop and watch how a red tailed hawk circles over the water or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a Cheerio with her thumb and first finger. Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Write a letter.

Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beers and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister.

All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough.

It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the color of our kids' eyes , the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again.

It is so easy to exist instead of to live. I learned to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get.

I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it, completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this:

Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear.

Read in the backyard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy.

And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004


The stalk that sways
in a grassland that is now barren
Waiting for the day the stalk dies
Or plucked away by a careless hand
Maybe even blown away by wild wind

The roots used to hold deep and firm
Entwined with roots of other stalks
Now it is all gone, nothing to regret
Just whiling the turn of days and nights
Till the stalk that stands alone
Meets its end.

- Resurrected, June 2004

Nose fetish and sometimes foot fetish

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand." Unknown


littlemisstinkles : About Uma Thurman's nose, I really don't know how to
describe it. But I do have a thing for a 'different' looking nose :P
Example, I used to like Michelle Pfeiffer a lot and her nose is different.
Back in university, I had intentions on dating two girls with 'different'
looking nose, regardless of their linguistic abilities (broke one of my
golden rules, which is "Thou shall date only those that can speak proper
English"). Of course the nose isn't the only thing I look at ;) Anyway,
that's only the physical aspect. Seriously, I felt Thurman's potrayal of
The Bride/Beatrix Kiddo was good and I felt for the character. I was
rooting for her all the way.

It is Wednesday, and I hope I don't have to stay on too late tonight. Hope
to leave this place by 8 p.m., which is already late considering office
hours ends at 5.30 p.m.

Anyone out there with cute/gorgeous feet? :P

I just did a major screw up and now have to correct the error. It's gonna
take me the whole night I think, and more. And I don't really know where
to start. Really looking forward to the weekend. In fact, I'm looking
forward to bed time.

And there is this wedding reception I will be attending. Dress code :
traditional/ethnic. Gee, now where do I get clothes like that? Do I want
to? Why would I want to? Any suggestions? I don't wanna spend too much
money on this.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Cute Nose

Oh I just love Uma Thurman :P Managed to watch Kill Bill Vol. 2. Love her
nose and love her every bit. Anyway, Kill Bill was entertaining. And I
felt the movie was just pure story telling. I'm a bit dazed at the moment,
because it is Monday morning (again!).

Its gonna be a long week ahead. Its that time of the month again where
I'll be busy with the monthly reports and analysis. Plus, this time
around, it clashes with budgeting period. I wonder how I would cope.
Seriously, I feel tired. Need a break. And need to re-evaluate my

Well, have a great week ahead.