Welcome 2008

I became a year older. And now 2007 is at its dying moments. I have grown. I have learned. I can, as usual, do better. But then again, that's just me with my own set of measurements. 2007 was supposed to be uneventful. Another auto-pilot year but things took a drastic turn in Q4, in all aspects. Well, drastic may be too strong a description. Unexpected turn of events and/or new perspectives unmasking what I had wanted to believe. And my searching routine came back in a big way. The indecisiveness crept in. And the desire for the big wide unknown jumped up at a contented me.

Crossroads, again. Work. People. Decisions. Have been reluctant to face up to 2008, knowing full well what a daunting road it is ahead. Deflated. Was not looking forward to the end of 2007.

Do I give it all I have or do I hold back and leave something on the table for myself? I don't know. It is like choosing between working >70 hours a week because I like it and capping it at 60 hours a week for my health and me-time. Do I follow my heart and leave a string of unresolved issues behind? Do I go with the flow or do the right things?

I don't know what 2008 will bring. But bring it on.

PS: 2007 was not bad at all. I did very well indeed. Acknowledged at work. Accomplished a few things professionally and academically. Started the year exploring New York for a few days which is something I had always wanted to do. Bought a comfy little car. It's just that it has ended not quite the way I had expected it to. Count your blessings, Resurrected! Count your blessings!

Autopilot

I have been on autopilot for maybe 2 years. Autopilot because there is a set of objectives to achieve: from getting into grad school, financing for school, learning in grad school, studying and exams, travelling, internship, job hunting (and the experience of it) and subsequently proving my mettle at the new job.

I am at a stage where I am asking, what now?

The plan was this: Stay in KL for 2 years from 15 January 2007 to clear the Fulbright requirement (which will enable me to work/live in the US, if I get the opportunity to and decide to do so).

Now I am in limbo-land.

I am getting impatient with things. Everything.

Written a few weeks ago

2008

"Stay hungry. Stay foolish."

Am not a fan of Jobs but this shall be my maxim for 2008.

Oh yes.

Last Day

Last day of work for the year. I am supposed to be gleefully happy at that thought. But here I am, still in the office, feeling empty as the seconds tick by. Dreading the holiday season. It is not the first time but I think this time, the sinking feeling is so so overwhelming.

Well, of course, you can't see it. No one can.

Perhaps idle time is never good for me.