Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Afterthoughts

The scale towards Plan B is increasing a bit after 2 activities with the people. It has been enriching. Yes, that's what I wanted to share but I didn't. And the pack from Plan A still hasn't arrived for me to make concrete proposals.

I intend to spoil you. :o) And this is no biggie by my standards :P And no, I'm not worried about setting the bar too high ;)

I do like fingers. I like a lot of things. But good clean fingers and feet are a must :P Ok, I'm only kidding. Will check out your fingers the next time we meet ;), properly.

I love your voice.

And the mischevious glint in your eyes. Or was it the lights and the glasses? :P

No, I'm not as bratty and spoilt as I may say sometimes. It depends on the context and situation. Most of the time, I act too old for my age.

Your turf isn't too bad. Looks intresting, foodwise :P But gosh, the traffic is ever there.

Didn't tell you about today and the dinner. Remind me please? :o)

I am feeling hungry now.

Yes, no matter what horror stories you told me, I would let you drive this weekend. A promise is a promise.

Have a great week!

Monday, May 30, 2005

A Different Monday

This is the first Monday in many years where I don't have any work or studying to worry about. Three days of carefreeness is enough. More like one day of fun outing and two days of long siestas. I got bored and now in desperate need to regain my groove. :P Well, Friday was amazingly good, bad movie but great company. Yes, you are missed ;)

I haven't had potato wedges at Dome's for a while and when I did last week, I think it looked shrunk. Is it just me, or it really shrank? The wedges looked shrivelled and well, small. That is not how I remember the potato wedges there. Oh well, at least the sandwiches didn't shrink. Or did they? Hmmm. Oh and apparently Jojo Struys was there when we ate. But I didn't turn around to look :P Yes, my date, oops, not date but my erm, meeting counterpart was too enthralling. Anyway, I'm no big celebrity watcher, hence the lack of interest.

I watched Amelie, again. Well, I haven't watched it for a while, and it is one movie I really enjoy. Ah yes, the movie gives much relief to introverts like myself. And this time around, I sat there and realised why I like it so much. I can comprehend and relate to Amelie's worries and imagination. Yes, I can go haywire with my sense of imagination. And the worries. And of taking the plunge.

Now the question would be, what do I do for the next two months?

Sunday, May 29, 2005

You Tagged Me!

Got this from iblogme a long while ago. Sorry! Long overdue. I'm going to answer your tag now. :P


---

What follows is a list of different occupations. The reader must select at least five of them. The reader may add more if they like to the list before they pass it on (after the reader select five of the items as it was passed to the reader). Of the five selected, the reader is to finish each phrase with what he would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

If [Reader] could be a scientist // If [Reader] could be a farmer
If [Reader] could be a musician // If [Reader] could be a doctor
If [Reader] could be a painter // If [Reader] could be a gardener
If [Reader] could be a missionary // If [Reader] could be a chef
If [Reader] could be an architect // If [Reader] could be a linguist
If [Reader] could be a psychologist // If [Reader] could be a librarian
If [Reader] could be an athlete // If [Reader] could be a lawyer
If [Reader] could be an innkeeper // If [Reader] could be a professor
If [Reader] could be a writer // If [Reader] could be a backup dancer
If [Reader] could be a llama-rider // If [Reader] could be a bonnie pirate
If [Reader] could be a midget stripper // If [Reader] could be a proctologist
If [Reader] could be a TV-Chat Show host // If [Reader] could be a pariah
If [Reader] could be an actor // If [Reader] could be a judge
If [Reader] could be a Jedi // If [Reader] could be a mob boss
If [Reader] could be a backup singer // If [Reader] could be a CEO
If [Reader] could be a movie reviewer // If [Reader] could be a monkey's uncle
If [Reader] could be a bible archaeologist //If [Reader] could be a househusband
If [Reader] could be a lifeguard //If [Reader] could be a comic artist
If [Reader] could be a stockbroker//If [Reader] could be a travel writer
If [Reader] could be a food reviewer //If [Reader] could be a politician
If [Reader] could be a male underwear model //If [Reader] could be a fashion designer
If [Reader] could be an game designer // If [Reader] could be a dog-trainer
If [Reader] could be a Transformer // If [Reader] could be a computer virus
If [Reader] could be a porn star // If [Reader] could be another blogger
If [Reader] could be a grain of sand // If [Reader] could be a fly on a wall
If [Reader] could be the Pope // If [Reader] could be the Dalai Lama
If [Reader] could be a whistle blower // If [Reader] could be a Playmate
If [Reader] could be the President of the U.S. // If [Reader] could be a dictator
If [Reader] could be a footballer // If [Reader] could be a TAR participant
If [Reader] could be a Miss Universe // If [Reader] could be a mamak-stall boss
If [Reader] could be a crocodile hunter // If [Reader] could be a pirated VCD seller
If [Reader] could be a Donald Trump // If [Reader] could be a dog
If [Reader] could be a ghost // If [Reader] could be a teddy bear
If [Reader] could be a Care Bear // If [Reader] could be a supermodel
If [Reader] could be Paris Hilton // If [Reader] could be a contortionist


---

If I could be a/an...

  • If I could be a Jedi, I would slap some sense Anakin Skywalker to come up with better reasons for turning to the Dark Side and offer my loyalty to the Sith Lord in return for letting me kill Anakin to stop the cheesy love-lines he spews out. I shall be known as Darth Lovekiller.
  • If I could be a llama-rider, I would ride the llama bareback while I am stark naked.
  • If I could be a proctologist, I would go into research to invent a device to make human waste smell good and perhaps eliminate the need to waste bloody time in the toilet as well.
  • If I could be a footballer, I will join Liverpool and break Harry Kewell's leg during training matches. That wuss!
  • If I could be the Dalai Lama, I will end my vow of celibacy and take advantage of my celebrity status to get Paris Hilton naked, and videotape it. Then I proceed to other women :P Muahahahaha.


I shall pass this on to :
Magic : she should be able to come up with better stuff :P

Solb1kenobi : ahem, as a change from the lengthy exchanges in the comment section quite recently.

Erna : I want to see this great writer write!

Comfort and Near-Nightmares

I woke up at 4 a.m., the dream was vivid. Is this what would become of our world? The dead bodies....the fire that burns...the smoke that chokes. Lost hope, suicides...propaganda of death and helplessness. There is hope. There needs to be less talk. There needs to be swifter action. Some of us need to rise and take charge, silent no more.

Is that my role?

At 4 a.m. I logged on. Just to lull me back to sleep. I read your emails. Those made me smile. I read what you wrote, possibly just less than half an hour before I came online. Your private thoughts. Glad that it is all pleasant. Strange how we have come together. Scary how fast we move. Comforting to know we are real. Unlike that dream that woke me up.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Calm

It's approximately 34 hours from my first paper. And less than 4 days before it ends, for now. I am suprisingly calm although I'm not that well-prepared. Will remain calm and handle this not unfamiliar situation of professional exams. Except that this is the final level.

After the exams, much excitement beckons. Many decisions to make. Much uncertainty awaits to be waded through. Hopefully all will be clearer within a month. Hopefully the grants or scholarships will roll in, and I'll be off chasing my dreams. Oh no worries, I won't forget the shared dreams. Know that we will accomplish the shared dreams in due course. Actually, you never told me what your dreams are, what your to do list is like. I want to know. It seems unfair now that you only hear mine and prod me on, while yours we seem to hold is abeyance. So tell me please?

For now, I shall revel in the new found calmness I have found. For once, I am at peace. It has been a while. And I find myself smiling more easily. I have been trying to take things in stride, I guess with enough practice over the recent year, it has become easier to deal with perceived stumbling blocks. And it helps to have people who are supportive, who believe. It help to have great friends. It helps to have you as a friend.

Off to bed now. Good night world! Good night to you ;)

Friday, May 20, 2005

On The Brink

Blessings come along when you least expect it too. :) I have decisions to make after next Thursday's exam. Out of the two choices available, one is already secure and financially viable. The other choice is at the moment not financially viable yet. Will be working on it very soon on the financial aspects. I'm more inclined to the 2nd choice because it seems to be much more value-added in terms of career growth. Plus it is at a place that is truly special, and some say mythical :P

I am also blessed to have wonderful friends that believe in me. Sometimes it is scary how these people have more confidence in me than I do myself. Perhaps it helps not to see things from the perspective of a constant inner struggle.

Speaking of struggles, I am so glad to have to you in my life. We are uncertain of what this might bring, but I'm truly grateful to have wonderful soul like you in my life. It seems a bit too easy, it seems all natural. It seems scary somehow. I am not ready to decide what this is all about, but we are happy. And it is exciting, even with all the fears. I will give my best to keep the optimism alive and the friendship thriving. I am on the brink of possibly a big adventure. And you are most welcomed to be part of my journey in search of where dreams are.

So yes, now I have to concentrate on my studies. Financial Strategy here I come!

Monday, May 16, 2005

What Life Is All About For The Next 10 Days

All morning papers 9.00 a.m. to 12.30 p.m.
24th May 2005 : Management Accounting - Business Strategy
25th May 2005 : Management Accounting - Financial Strategy
26th May 2005 : Management Accounting - Risk and Control Management Strategy

26th May 2005 : Afternoon - Freedom! Bring the on booze! And don't anyone dare tell me the Champions League final results!
Or maybe I should just go to sleep.......

27th May 2005 : Have a threesome :P

Yes, my wildest fantasy is to have a threesome. It used to be riding a horse bareback while I'm naked. But I realised the injury that would cause. I have now settled for safer fantasies.

Ah so much to do after exams. :) Looking forward to the nice long break.

End of An Era

I read in the papers this morning that Globe Silk Store may close. Apparently 60 employees have been told that they need not turn up for work.

I remember that when I was young, my mother used to take me shopping there. Being cost conscious and not well heeled, it was the place to shop if we had wanted anything of decent quality at an affordable price. In fact, the whole area, stretching from the area called Batu Road, right up to the end of the road near the Merdeka Square was a shopping area catering to city folks. Many many years ago, there were plenty of supermarkets and departmental stores along the road.

The road looks different now. The area where Hankyu Jaya and Batu Road Supermarket were, and Chow Kit's market is, has less Malaysian patrons. Further down the road, Globe's area is still vibrant, and people still throng the area for bargains. Mostly for shoes, textile and clothes. GS Gill is still there. The older establisments selling winter clothing are still there, but for how long I do not know as they face intense competition from cheaper shops in shopping malls. There is Sogo there and the infamous Pertama and Campbell, at the back there is the forgotten Wilayah Complex. Coliseum is still showing movies and the Coliseum Cafe now has a halal menu. Behind the street, there is the Masjid India area and more shops.

I haven't been exploring the area for a long while. Dropping by Sogo does not count for it has always been a quick jaunt to get stuff (they have a good bakery downstairs).

We are moving with times. I look back and remember the past, and am grateful for the lessons that I'm being reminded of. So Globe Silk Store may be closing but I will remember.

Maybe I will go explore the area soon.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

A Blast From The Past

It is strange that I'm listening to be chatting away with her. With Blower's Daughter (again!) in the background, I am actually smiling and enjoying the warmth of our endless jibes, the carefree flow of a conversation. Guarded initially at the prospect of re-connecting again. Emails flowed, little by little we shared what the future holds, and speak of the past we shared, it wasn't a past I think both of us want to discuss.

And today, a touch of fate and probabilities, we meet twice in a day on our old connection. Renewal perhaps, glad we are talking again. It has been years since we chatted.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Partly Unsent

It has been quite an idle day I would say, not much studying done. But I guess a break was good. Just got to pick up the momentum tomorrow. I have learnt to be more flexible. Had a pseudo farewell lunch with two family members, one of them is leaving this city tomorrow night. I don't think I will not see her for nearly 2 years as I may be making a journey in a different direction. I hope to be in the same city though, in this journey I am taking. At least there is some people who see me as who I am in that city. I realised though that our generation is much more mobile, and somehow, always searching. Well, that is the case at least for me and some friends.

Playing the song Blower's Daughter (by Damien Rice) over and over again has this numbing effect on my mind. It let's me go right to the bottom of melancholia, sort of like turning myself inside out and then I go to bed. Satisfied that I would not be disturbed by morbid thoughts and worries, because I would be so drained. No, it doesn't happen often, but when it does, I like to process it and go to sleep, without anyone involved.

I thought of having the kick-ass bowl of noodles I told you about for dinner again, but decided against it since I had the same yesterday night. I realised that I cannot take you to the shop that sells this noodles because of dietary restrictions. Well, I can show you where it is, but I can't explain the taste to you. Just like how I can't explain certain things to you. I will try nevertheless.

I will drive home in another 2 hours, probably accompanied by U2's songs or perhaps a dash of Shelley Leong. From your room, do you see the fabulous, majestic mountain range that hovers protectively beyond the city's horizon? Or is it the big wide green sea you see as the sunrise greets you? It is going to be a beautiful day tomorrow I hope, for you, and for me, for the world. In fact I hope for beautiful days everyday. Across the lake, I want to see the cityscape because it won't be long before I have to make my way away for a while.

Friday, May 13, 2005

A Bowl of Sweetness

Laziness re-defined. I had chicken rice for the fourth day in a row. Must stop this insanity :P I am just too lazy to think and it is the nearest shop with decent lunch.

I am a purist. My bowl of 'tau foo fah' must be piping hot, which is strange because I don't usually have much patience for hot drinks. There is a certain childish delight derived from enjoying a hot bowl of beancurd dessert with a dollop of sugary sweet syrup by the road side in a busy enclave of this metropolis. The noise and pollution ignored, as I savour the sweet delight of a traditional delicacy (if you can deem it as that), which is still fondly craved for and not forgotten in the numbness of our march forward with time.

As I watched people buying from the old couple who run the stall, I realised the multitude and variety of people who stop by, different yet they have the affection for the same bowl I am having. Perhaps there is a lesson somewhere in this.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

It Is Not Love

This is for you

It is not love
There is a difference
It is just a thought

A glimpse of what may be, or may not be
So worry not, there won't be tears
Only the mind wearing down the fears
Question all you want, open book this is
Read all you want, tales are for sharing
This is not love

Just an assuring hand

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Randomness On A Sunday Night

I can be a heartless callous man. The darker side threatens to run amok. I suggest I restrain myself, for fear I hurt good people. I must. Hence I cannot promise much. But yet, you do not fear me whatsoever. I fear for you.

I do realise many things can happen in the course of time. But knowing that there is somewhere I want to be helps me stay alive. It is a symbol that gives me hope. Perhaps you need to find your own too. For now, you can share mine. There is a lot space still in this dream spacecraft.

I am unsure where I should go from here. What's the use of being a shining star, when there isn't a place I can be myself? What is the use of the promises of glory and wealth, when I find no 'home' to go to? I am lost, when it seems like I have it all together. I don't know when the strings will unravel. I fear for myself.

One may ask why I hesitate. It is an honour and recognition many seek. But I sought it not for that, because recognition comes with responsibilities. I am merely a poor soul trying to find an escape route. A very lucky soul indeed. Yes, it is on merit. But I question the direction this will take me.

It seems more possible to you now. But it is beginning to drift away from my grasp. Circumstances will bring delays. And perhaps my personal life will get in the way of my promise.

I will try to keep the faith. Break a few rules, perhaps is the way for me. Just tell me if this is real, and I will wait till spring time.

Recollection Series

Memories are tresured because they shape us. Who we are today is a collective piece of art from past experience, and new hopes and visions. Some memories are painful, but hurt and pain is a form of learning curve. Experience makes us stronger, I guess it is true that what can't kill us only makes us stronger. Some memories remind us that there is always hope, that behind the ugly, there is much beauty. Silver lining in the dark clouds. These memories help clear the haze of dark moments.

These recollections are about people, who walked in and out, leaving imprints in the mindscape, and maybe even the heart.

These are my recollections :

Blood Red Top
It Doesn't Mean I Did Not Love
Being Transparent
Reluctant Heartbreaker
Lucky Charm
Bills
Land Line
Of Regrets
Doubts
Scent
A Soft Heart
Melted
The Temptress
A Triangle
Old Sunshine
Red Scooter Rider
4th Level
Car Park

Note : The story in yesterday's post and its related post are fictional. Only the emotions it wants to potray are real. As for the Recollection Series, some are true accounts and some are semi-fictional. Again, the emotions they convey are real. Of course, it is open to your imagination and interpretation, through your own feelings and thoughts.

Confusion

A slight confusion
Messed up intuition
Choices clear to see
Steps akin to jumping into sea
Will I swin, or will I drown?
Perhaps there is no confusion
Perhaps it is only delusion

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Flawed

"I am a deeply flawed man," he reasoned.

"So that's a no?" she asked to be sure.

"Yes"

Silence ensued.

It hurts him to do this. All he wants to do is reach out, hold her and be a pillar of comfort. But it is a dangerous desire. He cannot let himself go.

"Can we talk about this?"

"No."

"What? All this while it wasn't mutual?" aware that there is always a risk of reading the cues wrongly.

God, how does he do this? How can he bring himself to betray these feelings? He adores her. He wants to protect her. Protect.

"Perhaps I may have led you on. I enjoy your company and the interaction. I'm sorry, but I don't see it moving any further."

He told a lie. A painful lie. He wants to hold her hand.

Those were cold words. He never used that tone on her. She wondered if this is the same man sitting across her now, the same man she has fallen for. She doesn't believe him this time. Her intuition tells her to hold out. She doesn't want to believe the piercing distant words.

A flawed man. Perfect in her eyes.


Related posts in sequence :
1. Monster
2. Buttons
3. Vanquished?
4. Tunes
5. Fear
6. In The Summer
7. One Summer Day
8. Kindred Spirit
9. Soulmate?

Friday, May 06, 2005

A Conversation

Supergirl : ...wish that I don't have to work tomorrow, though.

Happy boy : ...you won't have to work if you hook up with a rich old man, and inherit his fortune. :P Or you could try me for potential.

Supergirl : Rich old man needs to look like Sean Connery for me to consider. You are a struggling student, not a rich person.

Happy boy : You don't stand a chance with old men like that. You do however stand a chance with struggling student who does not ask for much but intelligent, sincere females :P And struggling student will get rich and old and die.

Happy boy : Oh you materialsitic women. :P Broke my heart to pieces. Now I am gonna get ice cream.

Supergirl : He might consider someone who has youth and spirit and enthusiasm to affer :P As for struggling student, may consider when he is old AND rich. Ha ha ha.

Happy boy : Honey, men like that can get any youth they desire, no offence to you, but I don't see how you can compete in a superficial world like this. As for the student, he would embrace you with all the imperfection the world sees. Because he sees perfection in you. But ouch! Struggling student needs more ice cream, thanks to you. :P

Supergirl : Ha ha. You have a point. :P Ice cream gives temporary energy. Good for sleepy student.

Lessons of the world today :
1. If you don't have the looks, forget it.
2. If you don't have the money, dream on.

Cynical cynical.

I noticed something. Sometimes it doesn't pay to be a young man. There is this whole bad press going out there on how younger men are immature and insecure. Now, I'm not going to try to defend anyone but really, it can't be all true, can it? See how Supergirl breaks our Happy Boy down? Not a chance given. But what if Happy Boy is a truly charming soul with wit, intelligence and warmth and God forbid, maturity?

Ok, so I do have certain bias about age as well. I can't stand younger girls, sometimes. But I believe one can't gauge maturity using age as a barometer. I've met men, older men who I disrespect because of lack of maturity and finesse. And I've a;so met amazingly insightful and intelligent younger females.

On another note, Happy Boy is having mental images of Supergirl with short red skirt and red cape. Urgh! :P

So Supergirl, how about giving Happy Boy a break huh? :)

Our Pockets

Someone put forth to me a pertinent question : Why do we have to pay more for petrol & diesel? I couldn't justify it.

I'm no economic expert. To the layperson, it is hard to understand why we have to pay more when we are a net exported of petroleum. Yes, I've been informed that our petroleum isn't the thpe used for vehicles. That's fine with me. But doesn't it mewe see more than we buy, as a whole?

I don't know for sure how much tax our national petroleum company pat, cash wise (you can't be sure just by looking at the financial statements sometimes). Taxation is a percentage of profit, hence I guess the revenue only flows in partially into the government coffers. But the financial benefits should trickle down to the downstream industries, contractors, service providers, shareholders, employees, related businesses, et cetera and these stakeholders would fuel spending, drive our economy. That is how I understand it, in totality and theoretically, it should be beneficial, the whole petroleum industry. There must be some ineffeciencies along the way, as with any economic model in practice. Some will gain substantially more than the others, hopefully they add value to the resources used and not waste it.

But my personal question is, how can we be sure that the subsidy savings will be fully diverted and benefit the poor? Will the disbursement of funds be fair and efficient, and low or better still nil in terms of cost (frictionless)? I ask because at least with the subsidy, the benefit flow in full into reducing our cost of living. At least every ringgit is really a ringgit to us, safely in our pockets.

One may argue we are a pampered lot, not in tune with the free market, protected. Economic liberalisation isn't only about free movement of prices and products and services. It is also about equality. When the economic structure hasn't been tuned and improved to face the world, it would be foolhardy to rush in. I admit subsidies distort efficiency. But subsidy to the man on the street isn't quite like subsiding ailing or inefficient industries. Subsidy to the man on the street gives a better chance at living. It may look little on the microside, but 10 cents per litre of petrol is a lot in the long run and this isn't the only increase because we are staring at a domino effect. Here we are keeping interest rates low, trying to fuel investment and spending, yet we reduce the cash available in the hands of the consumer. Some say the subsidy not only benefit the less wealthy, but everyone. To me that is very skewed logic as we are already taxing the wealthier ones at higher income tax rates.

I admit I'm no skilled economist. I'm not offering any solutions. But I can't help but worry.

Happiness

I'm gonna have class soon. But I just have to say this :

I'm deliriously happy. Yes, I just had a bowl of kick-ass noodles and chocolate sundae.

:)

I'm a happy boy.

Repeat after me : I'm a happy boy.

Note : Change boy to girl if you are female. If you are confused, use whichever definition you like.

:)

When Two Bloggers Meet

He was panicking. Not only did he mistimed his schedule, the world was conspiring against him. There was traffic jam when normally there won't be. The traffic lights turn red every time he approaches, without fail. He was also sweaty and uncomfortable after some physical work.

He reached the station, relieved that she was there, still waiting rather patiently. She was wearing a sleeveless black top, the kind which the cutting curves inwards at the shoulder, simple blue jeans and sneakers. He stopped the car, got out, greeted her and ushered her into the passenger seat. He apologised profusely for the unusual tardiness. He promises to pick her up from her house whenever possible rather than have her wait outside and use public transportation. He bought her lunch to compensate for his horrible miscalculation. Lunch was at a quaint coffee shop with white tiled walls, the kind of traditional place with old fashioned drinks making that is fast disappearing in the concrete jungle of the Klang Valley.

It is nice to have someone that can browse books with you. Although he couldn't find what he wanted, he still managed to spend a wee bit over his budget. It's always great to meet someone with a love for books.

And the conversations flowed. He was worried of their ability to keep each other entertained as the plans were rather lengthy, noon to night. Or rather, he was worried about his ability. Thankfully, the conversations were natural and he was comfortable. He hopes that she was comfortable too.

They know many things about each other. The power of the written word is immense. But yet, it is still all mysterious and a lot of revelation. There is still much to discover. The words they have read merely serve to tantalise.

There is nothing quite like meeting up physically when it comes to learning more about each other's idiosyncracies and mannerism. Like how many mints the lady can consume in an hour. To say she is 'hot' would be oversimplifying her qualities. She is hot. But much much more, she has amazing personality and insightful views, and a fortrightness he appreciates, and her sincerity is refeshing. There is much for him to learn from her and he is looking forward to more opportunities for discourse and discovery.

A historical/medieval movie isn't such a bad idea initially for a first date. But after thinking about, it involves Liam Neeson and Jeremy Irons. These are respectable men that can dwarf the poor guy. To further compound the insecurity, for once Orlando Bloom looked and behaved manly in a movie.

Note : by the way, the Guy character is one Martin Csokas whom you probably saw in LOTR: ROTK or Bourne Supremacy :) And did you know the King was Edward Norton? I didn't.

But still, he feels a movie for a first date is so cliche. But that takes the pressure off for two hours :P. He learns to go dutch with her, he respects her principle on that.

It is always a pleasant suprise to meet someone with some shared opinions and values, because he knows some opinions aren't quite palatable. He appreciates her sharing her thoughts and experiences. He also learnt that cold drinks don't go hand in hand with that time of the month. Overall he had a great time, and he is glad the sentiment is mutual.

When two bloggers meet, they can look into each other's eyes and see if this is for real.

Of Defences and Time

My defences are down, I think.

On another note, no matter what I say or write, it won't make things easier for someone that's in bereavement. I guess I can only try to emphatise. It is very hard to deal with a loss.

And I should not be annoyed with how my beg and books are wet due to spillage from the bottle. It is only a slight problem. I should not let myself be agitated by me not bringing along my jacket even though I would be spending the day till late in an erractically air-conditioned building.

I snapped at people this morning, again. I have to learn controlled responses. I'm usually fine except for the first hour after waking up. Other temperamental times are rare. Yes, this is about taking things for granted. Must remind myself not to.

Time is precious.

My defences are indeed down. Take a leap?

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Random

I am supposed to be studying. Progress hasn't been great. But I just have to say this :

Liverpool won!

Muahahahahaha.

In other news, I won't be studying tomorrow, so today is all important to finish at least 2/3 of this Business Strategy think. I'll do the last 2 chapters on Friday, right before the revision class. I think I still have much to do and studying full time just a month before the exams makes a difference, but still tough. I shudder to think what would it be like if I'm still working.

Gotta concentrate. Must pass all 3 papers.

Nice guys do not win, most of the time. But I think they win when it matters.

I always thought Katie Holmes is hot.

I can't watch the Champions League final. Bummer.

Ok. I better stop now.